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Dating

Exclusive Dating Apps Might Be Killing Your Dating Life

Jasmine Diaz
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ating has its privileges, but some of those privileges have a high dollar, and for some, come with a big bank account. Platforms like Raya, Tinder Select, and The League are making waves for singles seeking high-profile love, but what exactly does that say about those who don’t pass go and collect that figurative $200? And what about those who are on the list but still can’t land “Mr(s). Right?”

While the concept, in theory, sounds nice (because who doesn’t love the idea of running into a single Trevor Noah), exclusive dating apps are a good idea. Here are a few reasons why:

.01 -  They Reinforce The Negative

Picture this: You’re excited to visit this new local hot spot, but the hostess confronts you at the door and says, “We don't seat people your size.” Exclusive dating apps, for those who don’t qualify, suggest that “You’re not worth being in a relationship with,” and that’s the wrong message to be sending to any dater.

Singles need positive affirmation because the dating game is challenging enough to keep you out of the game altogether. When an app suggests that you’re not even good enough to swipe left on, it’s a significant blow to one’s confidence. All those negative messages you’ve been deflecting come swirling back (“You’re not good enough to find a partner”), leaving you to pick up the pieces.

.02 - Authenticity Becomes More Challenging

The shroud of secrecy surrounding membership in these clubs has created a desire to be “on the list.” And while this secrecy is undoubtedly proving to be a public relations dream, it doesn’t make finding great people any better. It is likely more challenging.

Instead of fostering new relationships with like-minded people, people who are genuinely seeking a serious, committed relationship, members will now have to worry about their prospective matches’ motivations in ways they never really had to before.

Add to the fact that most of these members are high-profile personalities, now finding someone who likes you for you has become an even bigger guessing game. Trying to determine if someone is interested in you and not your IG followers is a new reality that likely wouldn’t occur quite as easily on any other dating app. And if followers are not what they seek, one now has to wonder if they’re in it merely for the FOMO.

.03 Dating Is Less Fun

When singles on exclusive apps realize that their chances of finding a partner are no better than the next random guy, don’t think they’ll be lining up to try another app. Because, if you can't find a partner with the rich and famous, then who's left? What other options are available? And what does that say about your match-ability? Does this mean you are undesirable because you were unable to find “the one?”

On the surface, these apps appear to be a new and innovative way to meet compatible singles, but they are a gateway to pessimism. Singles need some level of hope or optimism to overcome the bad dates and general disappointments, but when the “holy grail of dating” doesn’t produce results, you're left wondering, "What’s next?"