Out and Proud: How to Date As A Newly Queer Single

November 8, 2022
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o you’ve recently come out as queer. Amazing!! It’s such an exciting time because you get to discover and embrace your sexual orientation or identity.

At the same time, dating when you’re “newly out” can be intimidating (to say the least!). Whether you’ve had other relationships before or this is your very first time getting to know someone romantically, there are a few things you might want to take note of before diving head-first into the LGBTQ+ dating scene.

From dating IRL to looking for love on the apps, here’s what to keep in mind after coming out of the closet.

Tips For Your First Queer Date

1. Plan ahead.

If the thought of going on your first queer date sends you into an anxious spiral, you’re not alone. The number one key to overcoming the first date jitters is to be as prepared as possible. Pick an activity centered around a hobby or interest you both share. Groom yourself. Be on time (or better yet, be early!).

2. Let go of the outcome.

It’s all too easy to get swept away with the idea of falling in love on your first queer date and living happily ever after. Instead, focus on lowering your expectations (but not your standards!). By letting go of the outcome, you’ll take the pressure off so you can relax and have fun.

3. Make the first move.

If you’ve recently come out, you have to accept that first dates can be awkward. For some people, no amount of first dates will ever change that. If you own it, it makes going in for a first kiss a whole lot easier. So if you’re nervous, say so — you’ll be surprised how many people find that endearing. Then, go for it!

It’s OK To Say “I’m New Here”

If you’re trying your hand at a dating app, it’s okay to let people know you’re newly out. Whether you include it in your bio or casually drop it into conversation, it’s better to be upfront about your inexperience rather than trying to play it cool. Be authentic!

The same can be said when you’re dating IRL. You don’t have to act like you have it all together when you’re out on a date. If you’re nervous, let them know you’re new to the LGBTQ+ scene. You’ll find people are much more patient and you won’t feel rushed into anything you’re not ready for.

Dealing With Rejection

The struggle is real thanks to ghosting, breadcrumbing, love bombing, and other modern dating trends. No matter how it happens, getting rejected can suck the fun out of dating.

The main thing to keep in mind is that rejection often has nothing to do with you — and everything to do with the other person. It’s all a learning experience, especially when you’re newly out in the queer scene.

Besides, you’ll never be everyone’s cup of tea. But if your feelings are hurt, allow yourself to feel the feels, then move on. Even if certain relationships don’t work out, you’ll still get to know your LGBTQ+ community in the process. It’s a win-win!

Being new to the LGBTQ+ scene is both exciting and terrifying, but remember to have fun! The only rule when it comes to queer dating is that there are no rules!

Photo ©Superette by baseimages via Canva.com

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